The art of (wo)manipulation
From Sun Tzu in the East to Machiavelli in West, the social and political evolution of man and womankind is dotted with attempts by humble creatures to master the art of manipulation and diplomacy. What came to the wise ones after much effort and thought comes rather naturally to the women of the subcontinent.
The shrewdest political architects would find in our good ol’ lady of the house a formidable rival if competing in the art of trickery. A little tear here, a little sob there and mothers, grandmothers, wives and sisters would have entire households on their knees, racked with guilt and willing to shed blood to appease the drama queens.
It’s amazing how the machinations of the fairer sex work. Yes, they are weak and suppressed and what not, but those who find the breach in the repressive chauvinistic fabric of our society, exploit it to the hilt.
The most effective trick in their bag is the quintessential sobbing. Mind you, this is not full-fledged weeping with water works, et al; it is done rather tastefully with a tear or two escaping the eye and a throaty voice to add emotional depth to the situation. Case in point, a dissatisfied begum who must have the latest, branded lawn jora; when the husband dares to point out the four dozen joras hanging in the closet, which is bursting at seams, the manipulation starts, ‘Koi baat nahi, mein puranay kapray hi pehan loon gi’, this coupled with teary eyes melts the husband’s heart and begum sahiba gets to add a jora or two to her collection.
Cursing their fate is another tactic often used by women to draw sympathetic obedience. Beating the chest with high-pitched wailing not only invokes sympathy but often instils a strange kind of fear in the victim. This tactic is usually applied when a rebellious son refuses to marry mommy’s dear darling niece. Since mommy jee has already envisioned her son’s future with her niece and even picked out names for their progeny, the rebellion should be dealt with post-haste. Hence comes the emotional blackmailing, ‘Aik hi beta mila aur who bhi aisa nikla, ab kismet hi kharab ho tou banda kya karey’. This seemingly harmless act can rein in the most disobedient lot.
One might think that only men are subjected to this wonderful art of blackmail and manipulation; however, that is not quite the case. Women, who are uninitiated in the art of diplomacy often fall prey to these machinations. Similarly, men too make full use of these tactics to get their way out sticky situations, however the effectiveness of their trickery is somewhat correlated to their age and position in the family; an elder can manipulate the younger lot more easily than a young gun trying his hands at the art.
It is not very uncommon to hear a male elder admonish daughter or granddaughter for wanting to pursue a career ‘Humari tarbiyat mein hi kuch kammi reh gayi hogi’.
The art of manipulation is perhaps as old as the human race, okay maybe not that old, but it has been around for some time now. It would not be wrong to suggest that you need a little shove every now and then to get what you want. The beauty of the game is when the players appear meek, submissive and powerless while they not only hold all the cards, but also have the trump up their sleeve. If the above-mentioned examples are any indication, then it would be safe to assume that we have quite a few seasoned players amongst us.
Published in Images on Sunday on April 12, 2009.
Leave a Reply